(a pandemonium).. a systematic chaos

2008-07-16T13:21:00.000+08:00

and i guess after all this while, it just wasn't meant to be.

everyday is nothing but stress to me i'm constantly dwelling on how you got the best of me.
wanna know something i can't believe? the way you keep testing me and mentally molesting me, do you think any less of me if said that i'd be there?
would you think any less of if i said i really cared?
of course you would, cause you only want what you can't have, as for me i'm stucked with my dick in hand!

maybe there's more to life than it seems i'm constantly running from reality chasing dreams.
wanna know something i can't believe? just how much misery comes with humility, do you think any less of me now that i'm gone? look at me now, everything is gone.
i can't seem to do anything right but i'vr figured out why you don't let me inside.

because you don't feel nothing at all.

2008-06-05T12:44:00.003+08:00

all is not fair in love. and war.

2008-06-03T10:45:00.001+08:00

an ocean between us

how many days have we waited,
for a ship that never set sail?
how many days havw we wasted,
chasing a love that was not our own?
i sat ashore and watched
as one hopeless wave crashed upon another,
while my thoughts ran to the highest hills,
my heart never reached the sea
with only delusions of an endless journey
i am left with an ocean between you and me.

the gate to my heart has been weld shut,
with the splendor of my aspirations closed in
how many years have we waited,
for a ship that never set sail?
And how many days have we wasted,
chasing a love that was not our own?

is this your salvation?
is this all you can give?
i will not stand in reflection, of someone else's dreams.

2008-04-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

i'm leaving. have i fucked things up again?

i'm leaving. do you wait for me again?

i'm screaming. no more days without you spent.

it hurts.
wounds so sore.
now i'm torn.

i've been far away.
when i see your face,

my heart bursts into fire.

2008-04-23T11:26:00.002+08:00

finally back to shift work!
and my very first official off day since, well 4 & a half weeks ago?
waited a very long time for the checkpoint guys to come over. and i guess all that waiting has really paid off. i guess without them, i'd still be having lesser and lesser sleep everyday.
with regards to the finger gates, i totally have let go off. no more.

having much of the night to myself with a total of 11 arrival flights (that flight from cgk [jakarta] rawks eh rudy? haha :p), i had the time to do some mini shopping! i finally bought the "hamburger speaker"!!!
well all tanks to my tech geek bro faizal. he had it totally reviewed man.
to idya - nanti abg pinjam eh. let me enjoy it first.

i've been having this painful chest attacks. i'm so scared.

off day here i come.

2008-04-21T11:45:00.000+08:00

i'm frightened at night and the wind has a roar, it seeps through the hall and from under the door, like the shit that was said, i can't take it that well,

i give, and i give, and i give, and i give,

and i'm still lost and hurt and bone thin from the love that's been starved i know it got close but i'm sure it's too far from the point of suspense, that we know it should be, the end of that part of our favorite movie where the guy grabs the the girl and gives her his hand, she says take me away from this torturous land, cause the gave is set up with the hole that i dug,

i gave, and i gave, and i gave, and i gave,

you my trust, like the time that we kissed and you gave me a lie to add to the scene you pretended to cry but i'm here and i'm cool the way that it is, just give me a chance and i'll try to forgive.

i've really had it with the rain of the tears the predictable storm that has come every year and it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand,

i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying,

i can't, your a thief and a witch but i love you to death you steal my heart and curse under the breath but the one thing that i will most willingly prove that when you are gone i'll be fine without you.

and i don't know and i can't guess if it's gonna be ok but now, my last wish is that you do this with mw kiss me here and hold my hand, let me feel like i'm the only one i know you can won't you do it for me now.

2008-04-07T10:30:00.002+08:00

i feel like i'm killing myself already.
finally on my off day today.
i guess i'm working too much.
already have a second home! they call it the terminal 3 south finger pier. lol.

2008-04-06T10:33:00.000+08:00

congrats to the newly wed nizam! finally settled down eh. haha.

we went to his wedding invitation right after work, that is after my night shift. considering that we might as well get tired there and then before heading home and back to work in the evening, we decided to head to nizam's ceremony in the morning!.

i was shagged ok.
left the car behind and took the train instead together with cicak, han, ay, and rzwin. thank god. reached the place at around 11:30am.
after enjoying the free food, heh, finally left for home.
and i really crashed on my bed.

woke up in a daze, realizing that i was no late. dangz.

the guys here at terminal 3 and CAS congrats you bro, once again.

2008-03-21T20:02:00.001+08:00

Being stucked at home with a fever sucks.
Being shouted by someone on the phone sucks even more.

2008-03-15T15:45:00.002+08:00

back to reality

so. had 2 days to wake up really, really late. that's bout to end, sadly though. went to t3 today, as han die, die wanted me to come along to whatever place she thought of (which didn't quite happen the way it's supposed to be, cos err, han, everything that you plan out always does not happen), and basically i still made myself useful to some people there. lol.

i'm on night shift tomorrow. and the day after. and the day after that. dangz.
they changed the darn shift system again, well for the 4th time i think? so its 4 nights and an off day.

makmok'z coming home!! on the 18th, which happens to be my off day. so that answers your question, OKAY?

k. i need to clone this dvd i got. heh. do not try this at home kids.

2008-03-14T15:40:00.001+08:00

surprise, surprise.
an old flame coming back to her life.

*smacks head* thinking, "how could i be so dumb."

how cruel. haha.

2008-03-12T01:53:00.003+08:00

the time's like 5pm. awoken by haida's call. had the most shaggiest of all night shifts last night, i would probably been driving home with my eyes shut, if not for kahar, thanks man.
prolly meeting han and win later on in the evening, lepak-ing at tampines or hougang i guess.
heh, didn't realize tomorrow's already the 13th. like i already took leave for the trip to tioman, but it looks like it's falling part, and chances are i won't even partake in the trip. at least i still have the 2 days on leave to occupy myself with something else. hehe.
hmm, shoppppping?!! yesssa. but the spoilt one, shopping partner has not come back from the holidays in the states.

to shidah, JUST WHO is the person you want me to see? i can't imagine staying in that gigantic refrigerator you call Terminal 3.
kayy.

2008-03-11T01:48:00.001+08:00

Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?

Tear meat from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?

2008-03-10T02:41:00.001+08:00

Pendulum stops and falls away, life sifted through like sand
Storms of summer rain, flooding lifelines in our hands
Our skin of blood and bone, gently close to dust and blows
Our home of blood and bone, falls through the ground and is so unstoppable
These feelings of loss, so unstoppable
Egging through to the marrow of bones
Just let it go,
Pain willing in your eyes

Just let me go, dry the tears that fall
And remember when everything is typical
I'll be the wish upon a star
I've found a place so magical goodbye...

Peeling killers rise, precious circle is mended
Sense vertigo in you
So I'll be your your hand now
So unstoppable, my love for you
So unstoppable, memories of you
Just remember,
When everything is typical
I'll be the wish upon a star
I've found a place so magical but still please...

Someone, Help Me, Grab Me, Save Me Now,
Distrust, Darkened, Daylight, I've lost sight

Remember, that nothing here is typical
I'll be the wish upon a star
I've lost something so magical and gone so far

Just remember. When everything seems difficult
I'll be shining from a far
When it feels like things have gone away
I'll see you again

I'll see you again, Goodbye.

2008-03-09T21:11:00.003+08:00

layzee sunday

well, actually, its more like "ooops, i didn't go to work & i don't know what to do sunday".. yeah. i already predicted many would not turn up today after what they got yesterday night. its like a strike against the human resource department kinda of thing you know.. Pfft.
I don't know how much longer i'm waiting but hey, just trying to be patient here. I am, hokay.

couldn't really sleep last night. well, nurfa & idya actually kept me awake till 2am, and i was starting to utter rubbish on that conference call by then. hakz.

Online with yani basically babysitting cum e-messenging just now. been a while since i saw her, ((and many others, there's too many to name, you know who you are.)), and quoted as saying sunday's her only off day. lolx.

iqah's still in anaheim, basically not concious to anything happening here in sg. gi disneyland ah tu. benci ah.

yesterday was incubus day, but i shan't elaborate. my knees still wobbly from all that. HAHA!
2 more days before i go on leave. still deciding whether i should go on that trip, and the factors that come with it.

it hasn't been a great week, still trying to get that "let bygones be bygones" thing get inside me.
i still felt i was being used.

a start to another looooong week.

you didn't wake me up today idya. u are so dead.

2008-03-07T17:55:00.006+08:00

You could have been all I wanted but you weren't honest, now get in the ground!
You choked off the surest of favors, but if you really loved me, you would have endured my world..
Well if you're just, as I presumed, you're a whore in sheep's clothing, fucking up all I do
if so here we stop, then never again will you see this in your life

But if you could just write me out
To never mis-wonder how happy will I become
Be true that this is no option, so with it condemn you demon, raiding in love.

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here lay to rest is a love ever long
With truth on the shores of confession
You seem to take premise to all of these words.

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl
before I hope you die.

2008-03-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

An Ocean Between Us

How many years have we waited for a ship that never set sail?
And how many days have we wasted chasing a love that was not our own?
I sat ashore and watched as one hopeless wave crashed upon another.
While my thoughts ran to the highest hills, my heart never reached the sea.
with only delusions of an endless journey,
I am left with an ocean between you and me
An ocean between

Is this your salvation?
Is this all you can give?
I will not stand in reflection of someone else's dream.

The gate to my heart has been weld shut with the splendor of my aspirations closed in.
How many years have we waited for a ship that never set sail?
And how many days have we wasted chasing a love that was not our own?

2008-01-01T00:05:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 2008 TO ALL!
How fast time flies.
I didn't really enjoyed the whole of 2007, it kinda suck, so with new resolutions!, i just wanna start anew in this brand new year. God bless you all.

2007-09-08T20:01:00.001+08:00

SQUAD SEDIA!

walked out from camp this evening, after what seem a long 3 days of training. Maybe i'm so used to all this so, probably the endurance is still there.
i'm starting to count down the weeks as it passes by. come on guys, what's 7 weeks compared to 6 months?
Rushed down to 4PM, and its another sleep over here. lol.
yeah got the children's day celebrations tomorrow for both the RSP & SSP kids, and i just couldn't see myself travelling here all the way from home.
somehow most of us here starting to treat this place like the 2nd home ey.
fatigue is sure setting in!
ONWARD MARCH!

2007-09-02T02:33:00.001+08:00

Here i am. 0233hrs in the morning. Overnight-ing at 4PM. Painting pictures of superheroes on posters. Dangz. At least I'm satisfied with the Scooby Doo poster I did with Zhafir. Still in progress!! I need coffee to last me till 7am. Oh i forgot i don't drink coffee. I'll go look for caffeine alternatives later.
I had a mini-amazing race just now together with Zhafir & Hamzi. Rushed to Bras Basah Complx for paints with barely 15 minutes to closing time from here. Haha.
Oh, we made it of course. :p exactly at 9pm.
And a caramel macchiato and a mocha frap from starbucks sums the up the trip.
There's a night market here at bedok reservoir. The usual stuff at a night market.
4 more posters to go!!!

ME & ZHAFIR!

2007-07-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

one word, 3 syllables: SLANDEROUS.

end,

2007-04-09T21:06:00.000+08:00

[Headline:] "Murder, young girl killed
Desperate shooting at Echoe`s hill
Dreadful ending, killer died evidently suicide"

A witness heard a horrifying sound .. he ran to find a woman dead and
lying on the ground. Standing by her was a man, nervous, shaking, gun
in hand..
Witness says he tried to help, but he`d turned the weapon on himself
His body fell across that poor young girl,
After shouting out in vain the witness ran to call for assistance;
a sad close to a broken love affair.

She wanted love forever, but he had another plan, he fell into an
evil way, she had to let him down, she said "I can`t love a wayward man"
She may have found a reason to forgive, if he had only tried to change
was their fatal meeting prearranged?

Had a violent struggle taken place? There was every sign that lead there
Witness found a switchblade on the ground, was the victim unaware?
They continued to investigate, they found a note in the killer`s pocket
It could have been a suicide letter, maybe he had lost her love?

I feel there`s only one thing left to do
I'd sooner take my life away than live with losing you

Our deeds have traveled far
What we have been is what we are

All that we learn this time
What we have been is what we are...
Is carried beyond this life

2006-08-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

static no more

Yesterday marked the end of my static duty at the Senoko Fishery Port. Its kinda sad to leave the place having made new friends with the security mamaks, and the malay stall uncle (n daughters), but since AETOS is finally taking over, there's nothing much we can do there.

Thats one thing, on the other hand, im having a change of vocation, well probably, after the World Bank or in October perhaps. Will be working for the Commanding Officer i guess.

Heading back to granny's place later in the afternoon, helping clear things up there. Grams going for her first umrah, leaving Singapore on the 2nd, this Saturday. Had the religious feast (kenduri) yesterday over there.. I couldnt be there as i had to work in the evening. Called mum who stayed over yesterday if everything went a-ok.

Im still unsettled with my hp's mini-sd. i think there's really something wrong with it. Looking out for a new 1gb mini-sd i guess.
tataz for now.

2006-08-23T11:34:00.000+08:00

home

I just dread night shifts. I guess all of this is about to change once October comes.
Mum's coming back home from States tonight, gonna plan with both my aunt and uncle on how and where to pick her up. I can't find a another car, so that leaves with my uncle's Kia Cerato to fit my mums luggage in.
I have a feeling it just wont fit. :p Just hope my aunt comes up with something soon.
Oh thanks Wee Kee, you needed your Mazda 2 for the night. At least i asked right?
Mum's flight itenary changed at the very last minute so i have not a slightest idea which terminal she will be in lor. Have to call dad again. Dangz. For all i know her arrival time in Sg will be around midnight.

I think i need some sleep now, but i just cant do so.
Got some paperwork to settle, besides i've got for a couple of hours of shuteye at the workplace just now.
So feeling kinda "fresh" lar.

"I'm ok, just go away..
into distance let me fade
I'm ok, just go away
I'm ok, but please don't stray too far."

2006-08-20T11:56:00.000+08:00

REAL WALK

Today was the so-called inaugural REAL RUN organized by the new balance team and the new paper at Sentosa. I SERIOUSLY DID NOT want myself participating in this event causing myself to lose my 2nd off day!, but soddingly i was forced to join. 10km leh!!
Wonder what HR was thinking, its like they sending PNSF guys as "baits" so as to make it look good for the force.

So i made plans with the rest of the "baits", which are mostly the guys i have known or have worked with, on what to do during the run... WE SHALL WALK!!
No surprises there. Not to show any act of defiance there, but, forcing us to do something that we do ot even want to do is the point here. I also told d about it ans she agreed to accompany me throughout the "run".

Woke up at 0430hrs just for this event. But i was still late though. Something crappy happened halfway on my MRT ride. It was at this 'X' station, the train doors opened and i jusy popped my head out to see if it was a friend of mine who was sitting at the marbled seat. Stupidly, i did not realize my wallet was on top of my bag. So as i was looking out, the wallet just slipped and fell in between the gaps off the train and platform. BLOODDY!

I pretended lar nothing happened, and just walked out of the train. Informed the train personnel bout it and Wallah! Me and wallet reunited. I felf so stupid, i just wasted 25 mins of my life. 0715- yeah the time i reached harboufront.

It got crazier then. The officer for this thing told us we had to walk in to SENTOSA. 0800. The 10km run already started anyway. SURPRISINGLY, once we got in and got grouped up, he asked us this interesting question: TELL ME FRANKLY WHO WANTS TO RUN??? Everyone just giggled la. "K, u all don't have to run if you dowan k, thanks for coming here this morning, you all will be getting your goodie bags next week in accordance with ur attendance. Come back here(meeting point) in 1 hrs time for lucky draw and final attendance taking."
And i was already in my PT attire and running shoes, with the number tag almost pinned on my shirt.

Got breakfast, then it was just four of us, SHAH, SHAH (iskandar), d and me.
We finally got out of Sentosa at ard 1pm. Separated from the rest from there.
Made the journey back to ys, d and me very shagged n sleepy, and spent the afternoon at gram's place. Happy n sleepy at the same time. *wink, wink*

This is one hellhole im never getting myself involved with ever. Unless im willing to.

2006-08-17T11:15:00.000+08:00

doll

You know in all of the times that we shared
I've never been so scared..
Doll me up in my bad luck,
I'll meet you there

I wish i never had taken this dare
I wasn't quite prepared
Doll me up in my bad luck,

2006-08-14T13:30:00.000+08:00

and i got tagged by naddy...!

1. Do the following without complaints.
2. Choose 5 persons to do this after you have completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged.

favorite...
1. COLOUR: blue!! those kinda of navy blue, true blue.
2. FOOD: pasta and baked rice. with lotsa cheese. melts in the mouf, yummy!
3. MOVIE: free downloads! free downloads!!
4. SPORT: my bones are tweaking. damn those field instructors.
5. DAY OF THE WEEK: days when i dont have to werk night shift.
6. ICE CREAM: banana split hot fudge. anything thats got chocolate inside.
7. TV SHOWS: tv: look at that mann. he's expecting us to watch him sleep again! @#$$@%

current...
1. MOOD: hungry.
2. TASTE: bland.
3. CLOTHES: the bird's in a pair of shorts. dun ask me where the rest of my clothes are.
4. DESKTOP: some guy draped in a hood, thinking he's some kinda of a hero.
5. TOENAIL COLOUR: maybe if i have a sex change i would consider this.
6. TIME: 1242hrs
7. ANNOYANCE: that so busy someone who cant reply to a simple msg.
8. THOUGHTS: "why is friday the unluckiest day?"

first...
1. BEST FRIEND: my k2 dance partner. huishan. WEI i dance ok.!
2. CRUSH: nur adlin. met during dance class.
3. MOVIE: honey i shrunk the kids!
4. LIE: "who farted??!!" *points at someone else.*
5. MUSIC: got interested in nirvana's nevermind album in pri school

last...
1. CIGARETTE: try nibbling on something. :P
2. DRINK: iced- milk tea. milk tea, tea.
3. CAR RIDE: the one that i got lost driving at north bridge road!
4. CRUSH: nah. puppy love story.
5. PHONE CALL: that idiot with a strange overseas number who kept calling me.
6. CD PLAYED: need to check with my hp lor.

have you ever...
1. DATED ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS? yeah, once.
2. BROKE THE LAW? - a bribe question.
3. BEEN ARRESTED? another bribe questiton. people! do not take bribes!
4. SKINNY DIPPED? YupZ! with a few friends during our self camp at east coast.
5. KISSED SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW? unless i was high or dont remember where i was. haha.

5 unluckiest people:
1. adilla
2. fadila
3. lela
4. meili
5. yana

2006-08-13T13:23:00.000+08:00

m y l o v e

my love is like an ocean
it goes down so deep
my love is like a rose
whose beauty you want to keep.

my love is like a river
that will never end
my love is like a dove
with a beautiful message to send.

my love is like a song
that goes on and on forever
my love is like a prisoner
it's to you that I surrender.

2006-08-10T13:13:00.000+08:00

swim, fish, swim

We sure had a lot of fun today eh?. hmmmmz. It was just one of those days where i really couldnt be bothered to go to work you see. But i had company till late afternoon so it was a-okie. *winks*
Gi jilat lah kau tu sambal ikan, sampai habis.
See lam ask u to come earlier taste the food u dowan.
Now u going loco over the sambal. lolz. Maybe next time can ask grams to cook somemore, well since you like it lor. hahakz.!

2006-08-09T13:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 41st SINGAPORE!

- and i had to work on a morning shift today. It was a good a thing i got to watch witness the National Education Show at the national stadium a few weeks ago. It must have been the same show entirely, so i didnt really lose anyting lor. haha.

2006-08-05T04:35:00.000+08:00

new

Its been close to a month since the last update. So many things to happen at any one point of time can really kill you.
Oh yeah. And it kills you slowly inside.
Nothing new's happened. Well, the nation's birthday is just around the corner.
And the upcoming IMF and World Bank here in September. Migraines and eye bags enter.
Arrgh.
Just got back from a very hectic day at work, since i had to tend to all the paper work myself. Reality stares you in the face. Bam.

Recently bought two game titles... Fahrenheit and The Godfather.

Its not newly released or something.. nah. I have been wanting to buy them la. Haha. And d & me going nuts over fahrenheit. Crazy her.
Im nearing the end of the game anyway. :)

Some people just forgot the meaning to the term courtesy.

Its already close to 11pm. Fatigue setting in.
Toodles.

2006-07-09T17:36:00.000+08:00

the year old brat

The birthday reception for Aisy today was awesome..! I did not expect such a turnout lor. It was a rather wet afternoon, raining for most of the time. And with that i thought that lesser people would actually come, but it proved otherwise. For no reason, i, who was doing the dishes (jadi org dapur katekan), suddenly went into hyper mode. HAHA, rush, rush.

Friends and family came from all sorts of directions. Both my uncle and aunt had a hard time trying to interact with all of them.
Well, at least all the hard work, paid off. All the food was cleared, except for some cakes, and desert and the ROJAK was POWER. :) I LOIKE.!

I have the intention to watch soccer tonight.! Im still hoping france is going to win it. But im having doubts. hmmz.
Just hope that they dou't screw up or something.

Damn the in-service is on tueday. Going back to TRACOM! And i won't be doing normal work routine till the 16th. Got the monthly in service on tuesday and escort duty on both wednesday n thursday, National education show on saturday with the primary school kids. Sounds fun.

Oh and happy birthday Mohamad Aisy. You're finally a year old.

2006-07-05T13:39:00.000+08:00

yaya papaya drama, drama

Oh my god. Whatever happened to Germany? Scoring 2 goals in the final minutes of extra-time is not easy, but it actually happened! They were both evenly-matched lar. Its just that there was TOO much drama on the italian team. WTH.
I think they have practices/guides on how "how to create drama on the football pitch to give you advantage on everything".

From what i saw, Kehl did not kick Totti in the face. No shame. Abeh dive lak tu. Tak serik ke? DAH kene sent off the last time aroumd. Referee was blind too, i suppose. Bleargh.

Germany was really disappointing lor. The Azzurris were like cooking pressure against the germans. Block here, block there, block everywhere. Marcello Lippi’s side defended magnificently lar and that Buffon "Mr safe hands" claims himself as one of the best goalkeepers of all time. Yarh, march right on Italy.

France gonna beat Portugal thats for sure.
Its gonna be an all blue affair for the finals.

-You owe me 3 already.-

2006-07-04T13:54:00.000+08:00

VI. The Crimson Sunset*

I'm much wiser now
A lifetime of memories
Run though my head
They taught me how
For better or worse
Alive or dead
I realize
There's no turning back
Life goes on
The offbeaten track

I sit down with my son
Set to see the Crimson Sunset
Many years have come and gone
I've lived my life, but now must move on
He's my only one
Now that my time has come
Now that my life is done
We look into the sun
Seize the day
And don't you cry
Now it's time
To say good-bye
Even though
I'll be gone
I will live on

2006-07-03T13:28:00.000+08:00

said

...More than words... is all you have to do to make it real. Yeah, yeah, i know.
Err, and im really sorry Nad, din thought u'd take my no calls so seriously.
Have a nice day people.

2006-07-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

III. The Darkest Of Winters / IV. Another World*

So far or so it seems
All is lost
With nothing fulfilled
Off the pages and the
T.V. screen
Another world
Where nothing's true

Tripping through
The life fantastic
Lose a step
And never get up
Left alone
With a cold blank stare
I feel like giving up

I was blinded by a paradise
Utopia high in the sky
A dream that only drowned me
Deep in sorrow, wondering why

Oh come let us adore him
Abuse and then ignore him
No matter what
Don't let him be
Let's feed upon his misery
Then string him up for all the world to see

I'm sick of all
Your hypocrites
Holding me at bay
And I don't need
Your sympathy
To get me through the day

Seasons change and so can I
Hold on Boy
No time to cry
Untie these strings
I'm climbing down
I won't let them push me away

Oh come let us adore him
Abuse and then ignore him
No matter what
Don't let him be
Let's feed upon
His misery
Now it's time for them
To deal with me

2006-06-30T15:21:00.000+08:00

german crazy

Just got back from work as usual, good thing everything went smoothly today. But i was feeing like a circus rather, having to do/join one resource after another. After that scooter patrol with azhari, i had dogs to play with! hahakz, yeah, had to perform K-9 patrol at sembawang MRT. The fun lasted for like 2 hours sey before i joined another resource.

Now at home, everyone didnt want to hang around after werk, due to the germany and argentina match. I think the germans will have a bigger advantage la.. there's oliver Neuville, Miroslav Klose, Michael Ballack and of course Jens Lehmann, cos he sure has the safest pair of hands now. (",)
Argentina on the other hand, with Messi, Aimar and Riquelme might be really tough opponents: Predict 1-1 after extra time. 3-1 after penalty shoot out.

Other matches tonight includes the Italy & Ukraine match right? yeah. ITALIAN STALLIONS ON A RAMPAGE.!!
Brazilians and the french going head 2 head tomorrow, must watch. I dont give a hoot bout the portugal-england match cos i'll be glad if england lost.

Putting WC aside, i had a great time yesterday lor haha. It was so much fun.
Well end of the month and im broke. STANDARD! hehe.
Toodles.

2006-06-28T16:22:00.000+08:00

rough

2300hrs - 0630hrs. It was a tough night, having to keep watch over 8 buggers for offences at CGH.
These kids, have they anything better to do.?
My phone battery died la, ppl. Thanks to Fadly for making the 3D snake game MAKE DAMN SURE. Sorry guys.
K. sleepy.

2006-06-26T17:27:00.000+08:00

II. Carpe Diem*

I'll always remember
The chill of November
The news of the fall
The sounds in the hall
The clock on the wall
Ticking away
Seize the Day
I heard him say
Life will not always be this way
Look around
Hear the sounds
Cherish your life
While you're still around

We can learn
From the past
But those days
Are gone
We can hope
For the future
But there might not be one

The words stuck in my mind
Alive from what I've learned
I have to seize the day
To home I returned

Preparing for her flight
I held with all my might
Fearing my deepest fright
She walked into the night
She turned for one last look
She looked me in the eye
I said, "I Love You...
Good-bye"

("It's the most awful thing you'll ever hear")
("If you're lying to me...")
("Oh, you dearly love her")
("...just have to leave...)
(All our lives")
("Seize the day!")
("Something happened")
("Gather ye rosebuds while ye may")
("She was killed")

2006-06-25T17:08:00.000+08:00

You land as lightly as the new snow, cinematic
Onto the melting boy, and melt away
You light as gently, you're so cinematic
Bathed in your radiance, I melt

2006-06-24T18:30:00.000+08:00

I. Innocence*

I remember a time
My frail, virgin mind
Watched the crimson sunrise
Imagined what it might find
Life was filled with wonder
I felt the warm wind blow
I must explore the boundaries
Transcend the depth of winter's snow

Innocence caressing me
I never felt so young before
There was so much life in me
Still I longed to search for more

But those days are gone now
Changed like a leaf on a tree
Blown away forever
Into the cool autumn breeze
The snow has now fallen
And my sun's not so bright
I struggle to hold on
With the last of my might

In my den of inequity
Viciousness and subtlety
Struggle to ease the pain
Struggle to find the same

Ignorance surrounding me
I've never been so filled with fear
All my life's been drained from me
The end is drawing near...

2006-06-23T17:47:00.000+08:00

titanium silver*

Like wat one of my reservist officer said, when boys have new toys or gadgets to play with, we wont think of anything else but spending time with the new stuffs that we have.
Really!
I went to pick up amanda today from the Police cantonment complex, was very eager to meet her for the first time la.. went up the stairs to the shop, curiously awaiting the entire moment. And after putting down my signatures for a few documents, the salesperson handed amanda over to my hands. OH HEAVEN!

She sits in her box, wrapped in titanium silver coating against a black padding, all sweet and innocent finally saw the light of the earth when i held her against my palms and slid her wide open, scrutinizing every inch of her body. Boy, was she sexy.

She costed me a bomb but i love her.
Oh amanda, my lovely NOKIA N-80, I love you so...!!

2006-06-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

bdae*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOFIA!
MAY ALLAH S.w.T GIVE YOU ALL THE COUNTLESS BLESSINGS IN LIFE.!

Oh, and congrats to the nyp peeps who had their graduation ceremony today. Good luck to you all in ur future endeavours.

2006-06-18T12:32:00.000+08:00

screams in silence*

I've only had like 8 hrs of sleep since friday, scheduled events which didn't happen and unscheduled ones which came right out of the blue. The same night, had rewang at shawaliah's place with juraimi and rahimi.. Sha's sis was getting married next day [saturday]. She was begging us as she basically she couldn't call upon anyone on her side to come and help out.

So i went down, left home approximately a quarter to midnight, feeling a lil edgy, [i just came back from my night shift sia!] but decided not to tink about it.

D called me to keep me company but we also had PS2 yay! the guys went back to Rahimi's place to collect it. He had the car, that was why. We went crazy playing soccer all night, before the other 2 crashed in the car. -AND I WAS JUST BOUT TO WARM THE SEAT.- But seeing that rahimi, taking much of the back seat, i stayed awake till abt 6am when sha came down.- She slept at ard 4am, knowing that she hasnt slept the entire day.-

[Saturday] RAINING!! Oh, my. It was heavy. And i was left freezing. The winds were raging. But it stopped soon enough, ard 8 or so before the sun was finally visible.
9am- HOME!.

Plans to come to the wedding in the evening was a bit of a mess la. The guys were invited to another wedding dinner at toa payoh. And had Sha's sis wedding on the other hand.

A sms i got in the evening came as a shock la. Farhan's dad had passed away.
Inalillah.
Scrapped ideas of heading to sha's place and quickly informed [and waited]- for the guys in my team to set a time. They were in fact stucked at the other wedding.
10PM. LEFT- again. drove to farhan's place.

The guys just arrived when i got there. After a quick prayer, we stayed for a while before leaving.

Sorry to those whose sms i couldn't or didn't reply to.
Now i got a lot work in my hands.

2006-06-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

heart*

love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.
love is like magic
And it ALWAYS will be.
for love still remains
life's sweet mystery!!

love works in ways
that are wondrous and strange
and there's nothing in life
that love cannot change!!

love can TRANSFORM
the most commonplace
into beauty and splendor
and sweetness and grace.
love is unselfish,
understanding and kind,
for it sees with its heart
and not with its mind!!
love is the answer
that everyone seeks...

love is the language,
that every heart speaks.
love can't be bought,
it is priceless and free,
love, like pure magic,
is life's sweet mystery

2006-06-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

food for work [thought]*

- can we bring some warmth to our workplace beautifying it? With a nice painting? Some flowers?

- are we tidy by nature? the study / office table should be clean and free of unnecessary paper.

- how bout our handwriting? do people have difficulty reading ours? let your handwriting make people happy. haha, i am now trying to perfect my style of handwriting. (Strange but as i grew older it became worst). *Laziness alert.

- how bout the working environment? we must take the iniative to enliven the atmosphere. be the first to greet everyone in the morning. let the voice be kind and warm. be the spark in the office! you will have your reward, lets see... happiness and harmony!

- we need challenges. boost the ego system.

- oh, and food is a must. the darn thing i hate bout my place is when ur busy doing something (eg. im engaged in maintenance duties) nobody has the courtesy to call and ask whether i have eaten or whether i wud like to buy something. Blardie hell.

Well, i guess, this gives me some ideas on the triple S that i can suggest to the admin. *laughs*

2006-06-13T20:12:00.000+08:00

servicing*

Another off day burned due to the in-service today at RHQ. But, good thing is, it only happens once every month. And since they changed the in-service day to a first tuesday / 2nd off day from a thursday, things have been really messy.
Niwaes, din make it thru the ippt today. lolx. Was doing fine till the 2.4k run came bout. After the 5th round, i was already walking sey, the tummy created some problems.
Lesson of the day: Never have have a heavy lunch when you know there's gonna be ippt on the same day.

Went home with rudy and shawaliah... MCD [AGAIN] at civic for dinner, before rudy left soon enough for his jamming/recording sessions. And i was suppose to fill in for his band's drummer position on that day, but i was like aching and all over, so i gave it away. Left after a quick dinner which left me and sha walking back home.

Im gonna be feeling like an aged man tomorrow.

I need a fresh set of bolt and nuts for my joints.

2006-06-10T15:31:00.000+08:00

leave gone

Expected it lor. My leave on the 15th June was not approved. Bummer. And there's this thing with the PNSD not giving me my vocational allowance. Wat only.
Its a really good thing i didn't plan anyting for that day as of yet lor.
Misery, misery.
Good note, Sembawang residents, there's new cop car driver in town!
QX48K- thats mine.

2006-06-08T14:43:00.000+08:00

perfect strangers

Just got back from werk from a really hectic night. And finally having the chance to just sit down and not think of anything but sleep. haha. Was walking back towards home from Admiralty Mrt when i had the feeling i would bum into someone. hahakz!
And here was naha, dressed in pink, and... late for work! crazy ass. nice to see you girl!
All alone at home with nothing do. Maybe i'll think of something later. In the evening that is.
Darn.

2006-06-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

Deutsch, i don't speak

At home, now, on a Monday. And i don't intend to step out of the house.
1st shift tomorrow. dangz.
OH, damn. Got funeral wake below. Nvm, respect, respect.
I know most of you having your holidays while im babysitting here at home.
Getting used to it. So it's not a major problem lor.
I think i can handle an aggressive 11mth-old infant.
Do not ask for his name can? Haha, cos, it might freeze u. :p

K. so i've fed him, changed his diapers, put him to sleep. Wat else.
Hmmz. Wat's that smell. Crap, i think i need a showerrr.

Got company from ayu since lunch time. And she's still ranting.
I don't converse in deutsch leh.
Oh, and "don't trust online translations sites".
She is Psychotically hot-tempered, clever me! And she's got the whole world on her shoulders. Strong sey.

Barber calling me wedy. I need a haircut. too.

2006-06-03T17:33:00.000+08:00

the owl and the pussy-cat

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They tool some honey, and plenty of money
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful pussy you are!"

Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing!
Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows;
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose!

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?" Said the Piggy," I will."
So they took it away, and were married the next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on minced and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon!

2006-06-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

envy

When you work with people, you will inevitably meet someone who will deliberately cause you trouble lor. I found it an interesting thought, as i reviewed my life, that some people who admired my leadership would turn against me..

I, once, took the initiative to ask the friend who constantly irritated me, why he did so. He told me he was envious and taking the lead from others, the dark side of his character got the better of him. On reflection, i have found that many people ARE envious of others.

Well, i have learned to contented with what i have. It has been said that "Contentment is great gain".

This is a beautiful world were living in and im trying to contribute in to make it beautiful.

Envy can only lead you to trouble. Its like the acid that melts goodness and turns it into "Badness".. err, yeah. haha.
till then.

2006-05-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

f r i e n d

As you grow older, you will get to know more and more people. Some will be your friends, some will bring fun and joy, some will cause trouble, some will bring parasites. And some will be closer to you than your brother. Really.

So, food for thought:

- Take holidays together if you have the opportunity. Treasure good times together. Life is too fragile. You do not know who will die first.

have friends
true friends
and fire
each other
to be better and better
happier and happier
treasuring the limited time
on earth

2006-05-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

change

Anyone who is successful and who is about 50 years old will testify that "nothing is permanent" and you must expect changes. Everything must move on- the dry and wet seasons, human emotions, birth, death - and that will eventually include us as well. We will be changed by events outside our control. Sometimes, we change by our actions. The secret is in knowing how to use the phenomenon of change to our advantage, which im still learning to master.

When forced into a corner and survival is at stake, we will somehow pick up whatever reserve strength we have and progress on. Some people, under such duress, will excel and prosper. The whole wide world carries for you but you must be worthy of them and willingness to accept "change".

Welcome "change".

Hmmmz. Change is what you and i need, to generate the power to surge forward, and find new discoveries, we never dreamed of before. And warmly embrace them to convert the ideas and actions into profits for ourselves and others and so welcome change.

2006-05-28T11:03:00.000+08:00

the last stand

I wanna watch x-men3. i wanna watch x-men 3. i wanna watch x-men 3.!

Dear supervisor, is it possible to let me take my leave just for of this, actually i got a list of movies which i want to watch. Please?

Riggght., go watch tv suaa mann.

2006-05-24T13:49:00.000+08:00

back to the wall

Just not enough time to update lor. Dangs, this is werse than wat it was in camp lor hahakz! So, im still working, tats for sure, knocking on people's doors and getting into their lives. Chasing crazy people out the door.
Just got back from badminton. And i still need lots of sleep. i didnt get the chance to do so yesterday after my 2nd shift, had some personal issues to settle. When i got back, left again to Teh tarik's for supper with Aisy, uncle, aunt. Delicious. yum, yum. Finally dozed off at ard 2am.

Naddy became strong cos she picked her father up last night. Haha, crappy me.

Its gonna be a very busy 3 mths ahead for sure. With the kids having their school holidays all the way to our nation's birthday.

Where's that sleeping pill.
Just leave me a msg on my hp, even if u noe i wont reply.

2006-05-16T00:31:00.000+08:00

girls always put the guys down

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!

HE : Hi! didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE : May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE : No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share!!!

HE : Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE : It's hot!!!

HE : I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE : Okay, but would you stay there?

HE : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE : Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE : Okay, get out!!!

HE : I think I could make you very happy
SHE : Why?.. Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : why, don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go and see a film?
SHE : I've already seen it!!!

HE : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE : Nah, it was plain bad luck

2006-05-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

mind matters

*Shift work is needed because law enforcement requires 24-hour coverage.*
Right. Shift work change, especially involving those working thru the night requires us to change our sleep habits frequently and this can affect the circadian rhythm, which, similar to jet lag, desynchronizes the body's sleep-wake schedule.

I'm so shift-lagged cos i guess im so active and working at the same time of day when my body knows instinctively it should be asleep. The strange working hours and the usual fall in temperature at night caused me to drink insufficient fluids. And though i eat at night, i still think its not enough. Thank you MCd.

Being a public servant might be cool and fun. Members of public dont know how we work cos they think its easy.

2006-05-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

remember

Happy mums day to all mothers! A special one to my mum oso, though ur so far away from me. I love u.

2006-05-12T15:18:00.000+08:00

everlong

hello
I've waited here for you
everlong
tonight I throw myself into
and out of the red
out of her head she sang

come down
and waste away with me
down with me
slow how
you wanted it to be
I'm over my head
out of her head she sang

and I wonder
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you've got to promise not to stop whn I say when

breathe out so I can breathe you in
hold you in
and now I know you've always been
out of your head
out of my head I sang

2006-05-11T02:31:00.000+08:00

outing

Team Bravo had our farewell gathering cum outing cum birthday party, which was actually the first for me since joining the team on the 28th last month, held at sembawang park. It was just a simple way to say goodbye to two ns-men, ord-ing and celebrating 3 pre-birthdays at the same time.
I guess onlookers were wondering who the heck we were lor. Who goes to a bbq in a police van? Fun! Who was tt girl. hmm. She seems to know me.

Imagine this: Nasi minyak, ayam masak merah, ikan bakar, sausages, crabcakes, satay and other things associated for bbq. The first 2 items though, is usually found at malay weddings. 'Is this a wedding or bbq?'- rudy. heh.
Rainy night, but no deterrence to the food-fare. :p
After packing up and returning things we borrowed to npc, nazli, juraimi, rahimi, rudy and me decided to hang ard at sunplaza's mcdonalds and...... eat again! it was alredy close to 11pm by then..

Just stepped into the house bout 10 mins ago.. One long day lor. Haven slept since i ended my night shift at 10am.
SLEEPY LA.
Where's mean girl...?

2006-05-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

disillusion

Waking the misery of being without you. For comfort, for solace, for the end of my broken heart.

2006-05-07T12:31:00.000+08:00

ache

Why did we have to chase the taxi down? Why?

Yeah and so F1M1B got into a accident. Though its just a minor one, it still made us do foot petrols from 2300-0530. Record babe. Rahimi's just hoping no report will be made by the car we crashed into. Subaru somemore.
*ok, praying*
By the end of the day him and me were so drained out from all that walking.

The people of Sembawang is so starting to recognise me. Yes ppl, Im NEW!!
Its sunday ey. Orite. Can i sleep the entire day?

Oh, before i forget wishing Faridah a great joyous 20th birthday. I din forget kay..
:p

2006-05-04T16:12:00.000+08:00

accident: anything that happens by chance without an apparent cause.

- wonder who's the bugger who asked her to go clubbing and said he was lonely.

im in love with mean girl, im in love with you.

2006-05-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

Another night at work gone, here i am at home. Oh somebody shud shud have kept me company at the fishery port. I had Zohri and Farhan, but both of them were at the main gate, and by 3am, my energy level was wearing thin. I got aquainted with a few fishermen, talk for some time. Basically they knew i was new there. lolx. Waited for the k-9 officers.. which made half my job done.
When i got back to the npc for de-briefing, wait, there was a de-briefing, cause i was already asleep with my eyes opened. The last thing i heard was "ok, go change, pack up and go, rest well, drink lots of water. Anyone going makan?"
Went home with rahimi, farhan and wee kee. Sought ration help at KFC.

I just woke up lor. haha, slept the entire morning till now.
And im so happy no one disturbed my beautiful slumber.
*PRAYS HARD* there's not going to be a rally task force deployment tomorrow. I want to sleep.
Lazy, lazy mann.
Loyar, loyar nadiah.

2006-04-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

the new cop in (a new) town

Posting day today, got posted out to a place i never of setting foot on.
Sembawang NPC, here i come. Beware. Oh yes, i'm happy bout it.
I think i might a need a little adjustment to this place.

2006-04-26T22:51:00.000+08:00

when all good things come to an end.

The last day of the home team basic course. Got the chance to head back home this evening. It has been a great 8 days together, making new friends from across, the bond, is simply just great. The scdf guys just didn't want to leave HTA! HAHAKZ! They rather have two more months of courses rather than going back to CDA. When i bidded farewell to the guys [scdf, ica], i suddenly felt a little lonely. See lar. Miss those guys already.

Social night, which was yesterday evening, was a success. Though we didn't win the competition, the best cheer award was definitely ours to claim. Basically all the performances were hilariously great. It was a long night, we ended around 11pm, but i couldnt sleep all night though. I guess there was too much exitement lor.

Like i said before, i might do a little tribute to the guys i newly met from EXCEL. From the bottom of my heart i'd like extend my heartiest thank you all of you. It has been a great journey. Money just can't buy experience. I enjoyed every minute of it. Thanks. Here goes.

[TEAM EXCEL]
(at random)

1. ronald [CNB] - we rarely talked but i seen ya!
2. caiyuan [SPF] - drifter
3. izarnawi [SPF] - soft but outspoken, from the regular squad.
4. anurada [SPF] - the big sister of the group! go sista!
5. nuraini [SPF] - aini, aini, aini.
6. hudzaifi [SPF] - slacker alert.!!
7. haziq [SCDF] - one of the many guys i talked to.
8. mateen [SCDF] - mr photogenic
9. hairul [SCDF] - recognisable by his pair of glasses. stooge #1
10. ryzal [SCDF] - stooge #2
11. famie [SCDF] - the big bro of the 3 stooges. haha, funny guy!
12. irfah maizan [SCDF] - she's cute & bubbly, but rough like chilli padi.
13. sharon [SPF] - sweet la she!
14. guorong [SPF] - drifter #2
15. clarice wee [ISD] - she's hot for an ISD officer. period.
16. elise lim [SPS] - prisons was it? nice to meet you!
17. henry [CAD] - commercial affairs. im sure he had fun.
18. nurhuda [SPF] - thank you for the dance!
19. iskandar [ICA] - can i go to jb without u checking my passport?
20. yati [ICA] - we call her yatzzzzz. wait, how many z's again?
21. zulkifri [SCDF] - i see him as another great leader too.
22. siddiq [ICA] - very quiet lar this guy.
23. javian [SCDF] - had a hard time trying to copy our phone numbers.
24. rong sheng [SCDF] - my god, the very 1st person to add me in friendster.
25. jerry [SCDF] - his face reddens when he's embarrassed. lolx.
26. rishi firoz [SCDF] - lu tanya wa sapa!! firefighter!!
27. fadhli[SCDF] - which one is fadhli..?
28. kian beng [SCDF] - last but not least. the group leader for excel, great job!

There were 40 of us, but the rest were made up from my own squad, I'm gonna miss them a whole lot more too, actually tomorrows our posting day. A whopping 8 mths in camp. I've had enough.
9am tml morning.
dengs.

2006-04-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

love is always patient and kind
it is never jealous
love is never boastful nor conceeded
it is never rude or selfish
it does not take a fence and it is not resentful
love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, the delights and the truth.
it is always ready to excuse to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

2006-04-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

covenant

I prayed, and i hoped this week would finally end. And it did. The Home Team Basic Course has taken a toll on us cuz its really, really, darn boring, long lectures. And then they blame us for sleeping during the lessons. What ony.

On the bright sight though, i've made some pretty cool friends from the OTHER organisations. Its changed my point of view about the Singapore Civil Defence Force [SCDF], Immigration Checkpoint Authority [ICA],
Central Narcotics Bureau [CNB] and Internal Security Department [ISD]. The guys from CD... they are no different than us SPF, some struggling in NS, others trying to see the light at the end of this, really big huge tunnel. I'm in this group, called EXCEL, people with that purple lanyards, belong to this great group. lolz. I cant possibly name them all, but, i might just do it on the final day of the course.

The past 5 days together, has seen us doing things, practically, together lor. The preparation for the social Night on wednesday evening and the treasure hunt the following night, was by far, the hightlights of the team's events.
I just think this 8 days is a great break for the SCDF guys. haha. While they are starting to enjoy life in HTA, i just can't wait to get out. hahaha!
Well, got home ard 7, have to be back there on monday morning.. wed's the last day and its POSTING DAY afterwhich! yay!

2006-04-15T07:30:00.000+08:00

Rainy Outing

Had loads of fun yesterday even though it was raining heavily when i was in Pasir Ris. It subsided when we finally reached the zoo. 4hrs in there [& lots of drama unfolded], we finally ended the day at the kfc there. Lapar beb.
After driving Iqah and Qin back home, i made my long journey back to yishun. I actually went round & round Woodlands Rd twice cuz i missed an exit. bummer.
Tell u, straight roads sometimes aint fun. It bores the hell outta you.

Now i miss the Getz. Rindu la.

Anyways Saq, don't werry too much bout Hafidz aite. Its good he's in the police force. Since he's in the fit intake, training's not that bad as in looks. So quit worrying. I'll try to keep a lookout for him for the next 2 weeks before i head on to my division. I'm so counting down the days.

To Nadiah & Ayu, sorry ha! Maybe next time ok? So much for vibes eh? :p

OK, im supposed to meet the guys from my squad today.. They are heading to town till early hours in the morning.. BUT i'm having second thoughts bout it. Should i or shouldnt i? hmmmz. The tot of going to Lau Pa Sat in 3 vehicles with 13 guys is, well, too crowded la. Tgk la camne. Malas pon ade.
Hmm i wonder what the rest have planned.

Need to clear my stuff now, heading to camp tml. DEnGS, i haven't wash clothes!

Can it please don't rain today, PLEASE? hehe.

2006-04-12T20:37:00.000+08:00

OUCH

Im in pain. The tummy's creating a rumble. Damn that sandwich.
It must be the burger from McD'.

YAY, going zoo on friday. Confirm best nyer sey.
Got "her"!!, finally.
Its been decades since i last stepped into the singapore zoo. And that when i was just 7? Just spent the day there and im praying it doesnt rain.

Watching American Idol now, Queens special. i can't believe Pickler sang the Bohemian Rhapsody sia. I tried bringing that song to jam twice, and i still cant get it. It's like one of the hardest songs to do lor. FIGARO, FIGARO!

I want ice-cream now. Chocolate please.

2006-04-08T20:47:00.000+08:00

Shall We Blog?

It has been a while since i last made an entry here. haha.
Been caught up with a lot of work and i really can't wait to get out of the academy and go to division.

Alhamdullilah...! I'm having my LEAVE NEXT WEEK!
Anyone who wishes TO HANG OUT, please drop me a msg on my HP, THANK YOU.

People just can't get enough of ranting online.
Even though we may not know it, every other person we meet is quite possibly a 'blogger': a foul-mouthed minor, a colorless civil servant or whatever by day, publisher of frightfully (sometimes tastelessly) candid internet diaries by night.
Don't get me wrong, blogging is not a bad thing. Instead of screaming into an empty space - which one would be hard presses to find in singapore, anyway - writing a blog is nearly as carthartic and just as satisfying. Don't you think so?
Haha!

The 122nd batch of police officers passed out on the 6th of april. Finally they're gone. The worst bunch of stoneheads ever to grace the home team academy. I heard that they got good vocational postings. How true can that be.
We Npco's, as usual, like it or not have some stupid job assigned. Unbelievable.
Its hard being seniors.

Induction course on the 17th. Hoping to make new friends. As always.

Some indonesian lady accidentally got my number by chance. And been messaging me since. *Stalker alert* She's 28? Yeah. Wat a surprise.

Well. The new mangkoks (123rd fit intake) coming in next tuesday. My half day. Prolly heading to Roxy Square for the car. I got a great deal which i think is reasonable. But im just gonna give it a try.

Thats me this week. Awaiting for the long break. :p

Got something here:-

WHAT THE FAST FOOD WORKER IS REALLY THINKING WHEN SERVING YOU.

- Would you like a heart attack with that?
- Why? Why didn't i listen to Mummy and study hard?
- Funny how nobody seems to be able to taste what i added to the special sauce.
- Eh? Did i forget to wash my hands after going to the toilet again?
- Did this one fall on the floor, or did the other one?
- Eh, supersize my salary, leh.
- Wasn't i wearing a plaster just now?
- Mmmm... Auntie is pretty hot for a 71-year-old.
- Wah lau, this guy eats here more than i do... but i work here. What's his excuse?
- HEE HEE HEE, YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S BEEF, AH?

Ainsi, jusqu'à la fois prochaine. Je t'aime tous.!

2006-03-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

ONE.DELTA.LIMA.OVER

Attached to 'F' division, Yishun North Npc. Welcome to the foxtrot family mann. Din get what i wanted in the first place, "g" division [bedok] was where i wanted to go. A very tiring day, my eyes keep "flickering" as im typing this.
*Warning: Battery low, please recharge as soon as possible*
And im on the first shift tml morning.
10 messages today. Lots of cases. Yishun looks small, but its really big. Rainy day.

2006-03-29T21:28:00.000+08:00

Catch her if she falls..

She can't stop pacing, she never felt so alive, her thoughts are racing,
set on overdrive
It takes a village, this she knows is true, they're expecting her,
and she's got work to do
He helplessly stands by, it's meaningless to try, as he rubs his red-rimmed eyes
He says,"I've never seen her get this bad"
Even though she seems so high, he knows that she can't fly
and when she falls out of the sky, he'll be standing by

She was raised in a small midwestern town,
by a charming and eccentric loving father
She was praised as the perfect teenage girl,
and everyone thought highly of her
And she tried everyday, with endless drive, to make the grade
Then one day, she woke up to find, the perfect girl, had lost her mind
Once barely taking a break, now she sleeps the days away
She helplessly stands by, it's meaningless to try
All she wants to do is cry, no one ever knew she was so sad

In the face of misery she found hopefulness, feeling better
She had weathered this depression
Much to her advantage she resumed her frantic pace
Boundless power midnight hour
She enjoyed the race

2006-03-19T09:05:00.000+08:00

So you think you can drive?

Was at the Police K-9 Unit at CCk on friday. And it was supposed to be our walk-out day also.
Awesome lar these dogs, and there are useless ones there too. Oh yeah, they are nice animals and err.. fierce too, but the smell there was unbearable. And no i wasn't referring to the dogs. The kernels stank like no tomorrow. LOL.
OK, so i slept with the laptop on. *winkz*

Saturday mornin was spent at the Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel. A very busy morning. Just hate project planning. And i thought it'd be like a walk in the park. Boy i was wrong. Headed to Far East Plaza for brunch. Mats and minahs aplenty as usual. Its hard when you don't have a car when you need one.

Its SHOE-SHOPPING WITH MS SNAIL AGAIN.
When it comes to getting shoes they want, the female species will not hesitate to use war-worthy tactics.
Recon missions, persistence and of course, the usual approach: CHARM AND DISARM.
I later bought clothes at tampines mall. hahakz. Breekz didnt happen la. Maybe next time lor.

Think i will still be sticking with cats.

2006-03-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

PC CRAZY

In class naw. Been having this courses since last friday.
k. sham, ape tgk2 ni (what u looking at). hmmm.
Move away. I bite. lol.

2006-03-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

12 points, 12 points!!!
can't wait for enhancement.

2006-02-19T09:09:00.000+08:00

!SMASH'D

Of underage kids, screaming girls, blasting bass sounds, funky hair, great dancing, lousy bands, crazy rapping, and a guest band with a lousy attitude.
What a show last night.
Damn Im too old for all of tis. haha.
Velvet Rose rocked d'marquee, thiara was awesome.
Supper at Burger King with ijan, iqah. Yadh came later. V. hungry.
Real shagged when i got home.

Few more hours till walk in... Another boring week. Bummer.

2006-02-18T09:06:00.000+08:00

Not Now

Come here, please hold my hand for now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this,
God has a master plan
And I guess
I am in his demand
Please save me this time I cannot run
And I'll see you when this is done
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one who's left behind

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting

I see, a light it feels good
And I'll come back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting

2006-02-11T17:30:00.000+08:00

Whispers of a lonely soul

Oh happy days!
Entire week's been about keeping the "ball" from rolling to our barracks. haha.
I guess he couldn't be bothered any longer la.
Then there was that oh-dreaded-last-min-fatigue-barrack-storm
on thursday morning.
No warning sey.

The driving lessons under Police Driving School was really fun. Takes the stress/boredom of all of us, lessons finishes late. Bummer.
The Problem Solving courses was a-ok.. except that we had to rush through the 2 days of the course. It was great to mdm jerrica again after 3 mths!
WEE,, She remembered me! *winks*

Was at Marina Square. Got cookies at famous amos. Was craving for it la.
Then Orchard area till late. "Shopping"". V crowded.

Dangz i miss a lot of people.
Shall not name who, but a lot.

2006-02-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

[IED]

The earth is too small a place for terrorists to live in.
Its a pity. Why would they want to kill themselves and other innocent lives?
Religion? I dont think so.
To send a specific msg? Like what?

Room 9 of echo coy on level 1 is a hotzone area. Target:Raj.
Needs a change badly.
I cant walk. Muscle pull/tear. A hard one too.

Ignorance is bliss. I felt like that on my way home. So afraid.
I'll never tell you the secrets i'm holding,
i know this things must bore you,
but i cant find another way.
Its a funny thing. Keeping things to urself.
Sorry, but I understand.

~and i wonder,
when i sing along with you,
if everything could ever be this real forever..
if anything could ever be this good again..~

2006-01-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

I feel so

tired. It was the longest week felt ever.
Had WITS training for 3 days straight. Luckily our project & presentation went well. Go PARADIGM!
On a brighter note, happy Chinese new year to all my chinese friends!

The guy in Sly's ice kacang sg idol advertisement is toby chiang, my best friend in sec school, if u were wondering.
Damn its a tuff werl out there. Its tuff being npco. getting cranky.

Anybody went to the DT concert yesterday? confirm best.

There's the ROCK 4 GOOD mini concert happening at raffles girls secondary school ('',) on the 4th of feb. Who's playing: The Suns, Ronin, Electrico, West Grand Boulevard, Crossbred, Skyjuice. Be sure to check it out.

-and i cant tell if ur laughing,
between each smile there's a tear in your eyes,
will we cross paths somewhere else tonight?-

dier da de org baru la. kwang3.
Enjoy the long holidays guys.
Till nxt time.

2006-01-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone..
Been busy the last couple of days, since the start of the new year...
Friday saw the 121st intake go to their respective postings. After 3 months of basic police training, it was time to move on.

Ironically, i got to become a npco [n'hood police ctr officer], and since its one of the most difficult postings to get, [only 60 out of 412] i guess i was one of the lucky ones la. Good side: Attractive perks once i finish training. Bad side: 3 more months of NPC training at home team. Bummer.
HTA.. first impression: whoa..! Got a taste of our barracks.. 10 ppl per room. Awesome. Walked out that same evening.
Tis the season for bad weather. So bad i never thought of stepping out of home.

Today slacked. Was in camp by 0815, thankz to YC's dad for giving anson, wei jian & me the lift! Was hoping that today was 1/2 day. Din happen. Toured the entire area, unlike police academy, this place is far more stricter than i what i expected, and these senior officers tend to remind us that many other govt bodies are there. Cisco is totally screwed up, really. Got to sleep after lunch, 2 hrs before it started to rain. YAy!

Nothing much in the evening till we walked out at 1845. SSI2 Leo Augustus made a pretty long speech, ridiculously to our dismay.
I need a vehicle. Bus services to and from from cck/boon lay & bukit panjang suck.

Oh, and ive gone back to my old hp number [92714045] after getting it reinstated. Those who noticed i was using the other number, please update. Thankz!

Tml's hari raya haji. Heading to mosque tml morning. Have to be back in camp by 2130.
What a holiday.

"destination... anywhere but here, away from you.."

2006-01-01T08:12:00.000+08:00

Happy new year!
It has been quite a year, events all mashed up, too many things happened, madness.
The yr i wished nvr started, though lots of memorable moments.
Those that i have met and lost along the way.
A new chapter in my book opens up. New resolutions, not many.. a lil' tweaks here n there. Its gonna be my year i tell ya. In the police force, life, love,... let us all start afresh this 2006.

Esplanade was off the hook. Firewerks lit up the sky. Thanks Jordan n mel, can't believe we actually hung ard till 4am.

She's still in dubai. I want my gift. I cant hardly wait for her return. N my passing out parade.

Looking forward to good things to come. Meeting new friends and re-bonding with the old/current ones. To mum & dad, i love you both though ur not here in sg, America's not far away.

Have a great new year guys.
I just love you all.

2005-12-25T14:29:00.000+08:00

[Alpha Bravo]

After two weeks of short weekends for me, due to duties, i finally got the chance to rest this week, well since its the season festives. SO glad.
Made it through the final exams and scenario based test. Pizza treat by OC squad on tuesday!
Passing out rehearsal everyday till actual day, morning and evenin. Madness.
Watched King kong with iqah at cineleisure. Great movie, hilarious and emotional. Should watch it.
She'll be leaving for Dubai [UAE] tml afternoon, for a week. Loneliness creeping. Returns on my POP day.
Need to settle lots of things before the new year, so i better clear those up.
Eyeing the O2 atom for the new year. haha.
To idah, i noe its been nearly 2 years that we have broken up. Im glad we finally got a chance to talk things out. And it just so happened that we met again cos ive missed you so much. Thank you.

Christmas is here again. I long for snow. Wonder if snow has formed in Georgia. Better ask mum.

Merry Christmas to one and all celebrating it.

2005-11-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

endless sacrifice

Hey you, hey you.. updating time again... Lets see.. its another 6 weeks till passing out. Just hoping everything will go well. I came back this afternoon, after the mid-year exams.. [even cops go thru exams, comprende?] So much twists and turn in it. Thank God, the bus wasnt crowded.
The last couple of weeks have been a lethargic one, had lessons, night classes and stuff.. This was also the last week for first aid. Was pretty relieved after passing that practical tests. Whew!

People have been great in camp. [Lets be positive here, so yeah, great]. Fizah [sorani], ever being the "greek goddess" that she is, has been one heck of a companion. [She thinks the .85 Taurus revolver is fun to play with and NS is fun.. Siao]. Maybe when the squad is stressed or just damn plain tired, the mood changes. What's with all the hostility? I noe i have always been the odd one out, the neutral one, im not siding anybody, see?

The 121st intake wont be walking out on fridays the next few weeks. From what i've heard is that TRACOM's gonna have activities for us the next few saturdays... Not so much worried bout it or anything, 3 mths ending soon anyway.. hahakz.!

A whole new level, of confidence and power. Drill test is coming up. Forget bout swimming, cos im sure i cant make it. IPPT and final exams. And i think that's bout what's left to finish up before getting the heck out of TRACOM and head to my division.

Damn i miss tv.

2005-11-11T19:21:00.000+08:00

The Worst That Came

"So you all haven' experienced going back late right? Nevermind we all planning to stay here till 2030"
My middle fingers up to u la Ong. U made the entire Delta Coy do a changing parade, we had to clear out the entire compound fatigue, and what was worst was that you held us for more than hour, instead of going back at 6 we ended walking out at 1935. What could be worse when we ran into DAC Syed Sagoff.
Im sorry guys i ran my mouf off when u all had to own up for smoking. It wasnt on purpose.
Well what's done is done, it was partly our fault anyways.
I got home ard 11 from pasir ris. Met Cynthia on the way.
Aint gonna elaborate anymore.
Im dead tired.

2005-11-01T18:30:00.000+08:00

R E -

Its been nearly 2 whole months & since i got into camp i barely touched the lappy!
So here i am again, after so long. Let me just randonly recap thru here. hakz!
I got the chance to head home yesterday since it was the festive season. A very happy deparaya to all my fellow hindu and muslim mates, those in the police force, in delta coy 51, and their families.

Life has been interesting since getting in to the police force. A rather special bond with the squad mates, like they say its a small world, cos some of us either knew each other or knew someone related. Training's been alright, rather tough on one end, but 5 kg sandbags over ur shoulders with 3.5 km ahead of u aint a fun thing. Got the most atrocious sergeant field instructor. But i guess maybe he was THE man for the job since we all in the fit squad. HAHA!

[06/10]
Nuthing much happened on my birthday, didnt expect anything anyway. I thank everyone, for all the wishes, and a big one to fizah for being the very first!

[11/10]
D day. hakz! Iqah send me, thankiew darlz! The day i was gonna miss my PS2, my grandma's cookin' , what not. It was probably the longest day in my life too.

[16/10 - 29/10]
2rd week in camp! Thats how fast time flies. Also called the 2 bdae weeks for me. hahakz! 17th was a special day. Saqinah turned 20 the next day. Iqah turned 19 on the 20th. It was Lela's bdae on that day also. How old are u again girl? 22?

Bdae wishes also to Azura and Magdalene, my bloved godsis, on the 25th and 26th respectively. The boys from my squad actually sang a bdae song for Fizah which was on the 26th. Hope u still had the chance to listen to it. It was so monotonous i tell ya.! Practically it was Syaiful's and my idea. Later then i give u all prezziez la!
The 3rd week of police life was also in sight. Weekends for me are relaxing days. Sunday[30th] night was fun. Had iqah's SAC friends taggin along touring the bugis/town area. Had buke at this place, i ordered TWICe!
So here i am typing this, the last few hours before i make my way back to the academy.
Im reeling over the lost of my phone, again. Its strange why all my hps dont last 10 months with me, LOLZ! There goes #10. Maybe getting a new one. Yupz!

Oh well, maybe i'll come back here again with some nice stories. Damn, i havent had the clothes ironed!
Till then.

2005-08-18T22:56:00.000+08:00

Who Graduated?
Still can't get over yesterday. Seeing my classmates again after so long is just.. unbelievable. Its a pity not all were there, that'd be the bomb. Damn i was late, literally. I wasnt the only one mah. SO the 9 of us 3-cab-splitted towards ite tampines; lela, nizz, lynn & huifen in 1, shareff, benson & rashpal in another and saqinah and i. And the event was starting in 6 mins flat.

Amidst all the madness, we made a very funny mistake once at the registration counter. We had to register ourselves [different tables for different courses] and get this sticker in order to get in, which we din even knew. Cos those who replied the invitation had this. The lecturers there was like,"Wheres ur sticker? Did u online registered? U can't get in already!!! I need to move the other students in! Why are you late in the first place??!!"
right...
I was actually at the back of the pack, noticed something. Hmmm... Information Technology? When we finally thought of giving up and knocking ourselves silly, and cursing silently in a way cos blardie hell WE TOOK A CAB FOR THIS?, Huifen noticed the right table for us to queue. "HEH?? OI THIS TABLE LA, INFO-COMMS TECHNOLOGY!!" And there laid 9 papers with our names on. blardie.

Ceremony was a lil dull, performances by some students. Speeches by the principal and that tampines girl. motivating.
and it was really cold i kept yawning.
And after all certs were given out, we headed for the reception lar. hungry babe.
Met azzy. she still cute as ever. Took pictures. I'll post it once its ready.
We eventually headed out, huifen and lynette went their way, Jaslyn, Apple and Hafiz joined in. Took a bus towards Orchard. Guess what? We ate again. hehe.. at lucky plaza. I called Faizal there, asked him how he was. Hang in there aite bruv.
And Jaslyn was in search for this nokia customer care. The only near one i knew was at bugis. We walked, stopped by heeren, tot of getting something at DCP. Bought Mudvayne's LOST AND FOUND at HMV...then towards Orchard Cineleisure.. hahakz.. had some crazy event there, spaghetti eating competiton.
And then hanged at Takashimaya, window shopped a lil before some of the guys decided to call it a day. I was left with Lela and Jas for company. UTTER mADNESS sia with dem ard.
Bummed at Paragon's Coffee Bean till 10 plus.
Getting sleepy each min!
Train took lela and me home. She dropped at bishan. And she still intends to go clubbin at 1. And i intend to go to bed.
Jas, u left ur cert with us.
Till the next outing.
--Happy 16th babe.!--

2005-08-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

Pullin' my strings together la...

haiz.. all work and no play makes me sick.
i wanna eat a bullet, carve myself, beat myself perharps.
catatonic, dig my brain la, no pain.
suffocating, stomach aching.
dont give a ----. i'm out.i'm done.
i've dug my my own hole i'm lying in.
no one could ever understand.
my life's exhausted.
pressure constricting.
i'm fighting for my honesty.
i'm fighting for my integrity.
fighting hard and breaking bones.
break.

2005-08-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

SIc

When a job ur in gets the better of you and you cant control it, u fall sick [as in health] and sick of the job itself. The bed was my only friend the entire day. Call it a fever, cough, whatever.. but the entire body's too weak to be lifted up. And the head's a whirlwind. I swear im not coming to work tml.

When ur part of a management, and the higher authority screws u for not handling the job/staffs properly, it hurts. Especially when rude sarcastic remarks are blurted out at you. I'VE HAD ENUF OF YOU JEFFREY. seriously.

Been watching drumline, and rerunning it a couple of times. Reminded me of my band days, and though i wasnt really a strong leader, i still had my moments. From the youth festvals to the NDP performance with gurmit singh to the performance for madame tussauds. from El Calmino Real to Oregon to Danse Diabolique. Those were the days.

S l i p k n o t ' s c o m i n g t o t o w n.
The only show in asia, having skipped malaysia. hows that? No doubt they are a great nu-metal band. With their crazy stuff they do on stage. Oh yeah, ive seen them play live when i was in new york city. I wont be seeing them again this august 16, though i really wished id get autographs of Joey Jordison and Corey Taylor. Im sure there lots of slipknot's fanatikz here in sg. Who knows some of you might just get lucky, since they are playin in an open area.

I miss my g-f's. i miss u. i miss my ite mates. i miss my friends. Cant hardly wait this 17th.
Im sorry if i scolded u for no reason just now.

2005-07-27T13:52:00.000+08:00

Trapped Inside My Octavarium...

I. Someone like him

I never wanted to become someone like him so secure
Content to live each day just like the last
I was sure i knew that this was not for me
And i wanted so much more
Far beyond what i could see
So i swore that I'd
Never be someone like him

So many years have passed
Since i proclaimed my independence
My aim
And my vision so secure
Content to live each like its my last
Its wonderful to know
That i could be
Something more that what i dreamed
Far beyond what i could see
Still i swear that i'm
Missing out this time

As far as i could tell
There's nothing more i need
But still i ask myself
Could this be everything
Then all i swore
That i would never be was now
So suddenly
The only thing I wasnted
To become
To be someone just like him

II. Medicate [Awakening]

A doctor sitting next to me
He asks me how i feel
Not sure i understand his questioning
He says I've been away a while
But thinks he has cured me
From a state of catatonic sleep

For 19 years
Where have i been
Eyes open
But not getting through to me

Medicate me
Infiltrate me
Side affects appear
As my conscience slips away

Medicate me
Science failing
Concience fading fast
Can't you stop what's happening?

A higher dosage he prescribes But there's no guarantee
I feel it starting to take over me
I tell him not to be ashamed
There's no one who's to blame
A second shot
A brief awakening

I feel the relapse
Can't break free
Eyes open
But not getting through me

III. Full Circle

Sailing on the seven seize the day tripper diem's ready
Jack the ripper owens wilsons phillips and my supper's ready
Lucy in the sky with diamond dave's not here I come to save the
Day for nightmare cinema show me the way to get back home again

Running forward
Falling back
Spinning round and round
Looking outward
Reaching in
Scream without a sound

Leaning over
Crawling up
Stumbling all around
Losing my place
Only to find I've come full circle

Flying off the handle with careful with
That axe eugene gene the dance machine
Messiah light my fire gabba gabba
hey hey my my generation's home again

IV. Intervals

Our deadly sins feel his mortal wreath
Remove all obstacles from our path

Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you

Try to break through
long to connect
Fall on deaf ears and failed muted breath

Loyalty, trust, faith, and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire

Tortured insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but to no avail

The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more

Innocent victims of merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madmen's impulsive designs

Step after step
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it has become too late

Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium
Trapped inside this Octavarium

V. Razor's Edge

We move in circles
Balanced all the while
On a gleaming razor's edge

A perfect sphere
Colliding with our fate
This story ends where it began

2005-06-28T13:12:00.000+08:00

In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice a memory that could hold me back
There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll NEVER return to this place
Gone through days without talking
There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
And struggling to maintain what's left
Once undone, theres only smoke
Burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
And force the darkness unto me
And like i said,-
There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll never return to this place

2005-06-21T12:25:00.000+08:00

okok im updating.. now shuddap. hekz!
and yeah.. changed the blog song, sticking to my instrumental roots.. and i think kyn's gonna like the ferst few seconds throughout the song. hehehe...!
been real bz lately.. only got to relax a lil during the weekend, disturbing ppl. They were bz too, either studyin or being themselves in their own werl. Like when i asked Fizah what she was doin, she replied," PSST. TGH BLAJAR. got 4 TESTS NX Wk. SO not HEading Out. URself?" u go girl.
sorry everyone, to kyn particularly.
had a tiff with nani, but hell, thats her problem. she'll get over it. some friend.

A few friends of mine who started out their ns in tekong finally had a chance to come back home after two weeks. One of them lost 8kg during those weeks, imagine 13 more weeks there, he'll be thinner than me. ;@ Anyways im still waiting for my time, and i m getting sick and tired of waiting, literally. hehe..

I guess the story of the china girl who was chopped up's the talk of town lately. Hell the dick who killed her must be one heck of a kinda serial killer, and he's good too, better than the last body chopping murderer, considering the recent one cut off ALMOST every part at every joint, even the fingers and toes were cut off one by one and its scattered almost at different places. So one of these might just be found under your block, or in your kitchen sink perhaps, or in the soup that ur slurping away right now.

People been asking me whether i will be joining the Straits Times School of Rock. NO I AM NOT. even my own bandmates agreed on that. But we are respecting the new talents that will emerge out of all this. Who noes, members of VTi might just pull some to make a 15 member band? but then id rather stick with 5. lolz. or just side projects with the them. Things may happen, but till then, we are now no longer playing, having dismantled my drum kit for time being, taking the time off doin our own stuff.
Support from the 5 of us to u guyz.

So gona spent my time with mum now that shes baq here. She wont be here long though, as usual. Flying back to the states sometime in july, have a one week break, before goin off a trip with my dad to london, france and germany. WAh, betol nyer enjoy la tu. hmmmrph.

to kyn... see ya Reeeeal soon, and study hard.
to azimah... nice chattin to u.
to hakim... enjoy life at werk aite.

till then.

2005-06-12T13:31:00.000+08:00

BY 2009...

By 2009, no one will have any personal secrets left, because of advances in computer technology. Users will be able to trawl the Net and obtain such personal data as a person's name, age, address and even his bank account numbers.
With this information, hackers can send spam and viruses to people, thieves can impersonate them online and mischief makers can cause embarrassment by posting personal information on the web.
So far this ability is limited to governments and large organizations with huge computer networks that employ experts to trawl the Net for such information.
And im thinking whats the use of keeping secrets or personl info if it can be easily retrieved, read, scrutinize by other people/companies.?
Ta.

2005-06-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

why cant i speak when i have so much to tell?

2005-05-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

Scenery Of It All Pt. 1

Was at studio the entire afternoon yesterday. Instead of the usual 5 ppl, it was left with iqbal, jordan and me instead, doing this another piece, an instrumental of course, Mus and Nash had their own share of problems so yeah...
Entitled "Scenery Of It All Pt 1", we had a different approach for this one, more mellow, more jazz, like band music,lolz.. apart from most of the songs we made. And i dono if theres gonna be a part 2. hakz.

Damn im still having chest pains, and my heartbeat's uneven, so afraid id pass out again just like last time.

Heard the new movie, Madagascar, is nice. Haha, maybe i'll see to that.
And im goin nuts tryin to crack this symbian thing for my hp.
ANYONE WHO HAS THE SMART MOVIE 2.73 FULL AND CRACKED... PLS! come to my aid.
and Ridzman, if ur reading this, i need ur help too.
so till scenery of it all part 2 then. just the 5 of us.

2005-05-23T17:36:00.000+08:00

Prayer is the heart of religion and faith
but how shall we pray? What words shall convey,
The yearnings of our miserable ignorant hearts,
To the Knower of all? Is it worthy of Him
Or of our spiritual nature to ask

For vanities, or even for such physical needs
As our daily bread? The Inspired One
Taught us a prayer that sums up our faith,
Our hope, and our aspirations in things that matter.

We think in devotion of Allah's name and His Nature;
We praise Him for His creation and His Cherising Care;
We call to mind the Realities, seen and unseen;
We offer Him worship and ask His guidance;
And we know the straight from the crooked path
By the light of His grace that illuminated the righteous

2005-05-19T13:19:00.000+08:00

2 years of school in macpherson, the fun, the politics, the wierd antics of some of the mates in class, the egos goin head to head, the lecturers handling this crazy class, the crap, the laughter, the jokes, the sarcasm.
All in 2 years. I cant imagine its all so fast. To the 28 ppl in ICT2W, thankiew, cant possibly name u all, but to the few: nizz, sakinah, faizal, allfadzlie, khai, lela, nooraini, shareff, rashpal, Ronny & Co., Jaslyn & Co., Junyi & Co...., keep on rockin guys. Gonna miss you all.
Especially to Ghana who'll be servin this god forsaken country tml, Good luck in everything u do aite.

As for me, i'll still be ard, chillin, perharps with faizal or whoever there is, waitin for my time to come, still gonna be me, the same old lunatik me.
To the friends i've made in the batches after mine, u all sure have a long way to go for sure, some 6 months, some 18, maybe we all shall meet again sometime.

After i jotted down those last drops of ink on that LAN exam paper, i began to ponder, for a moment, looking back at the days gone by, but hey, we all gotta move on in life..

I still miss someone.
I need a holiday.
I want that GPA.
Temasek Poly, beware.

2005-05-14T03:26:00.000+08:00

bLacK hOLe suN,
wON'T YOU cOME??
aND wAsH aWay tHE rAin
bLACk hOLE SUn,
wON'T YOU cOME??
wON'T YOU cOME??